Introduction

When people talk about what makes a good boss, they often say “be a role model” or “lead from the front.”

Anyone who has seen the real world knows those ideals are fantasy.

Managers are not perfect. Being in the role does not make you gifted. You simply hold a responsibility.

Sometimes you scold a subordinate for being late, even though you yourself were late the day before. Sometimes you lack the skill to do the work, yet you must assign it, demand outcomes, and take responsibility.

Textbooks rarely mention one more critical aptitude: the ability to put yourself on the shelf—to set your own flaws aside for the sake of the organization.

What Does It Mean to “Put Yourself on the Shelf”?

Do not misunderstand me. Here, “putting yourself on the shelf” is not brazen irresponsibility.

It is the ability to say, “I am not perfect either, but I will swallow that contradiction and keep the organization moving.”

If you only demand what you yourself can do, what happens? The team stays confined within your capabilities. Growth and results are capped. If you try to overcome every gap personally, you will be crushed. The organization will not wait for you to reach perfection.

A Manager’s Role Is to Carry Contradictions

Your job as a manager is not to provide a flawlessly consistent role model—because that is impossible. Your job is to move the organization toward its goals while carrying contradictions inside yourself.

  • The contradiction of enforcing punctuality Even if you were late, letting a subordinate’s lateness slide destroys discipline. You know the pain better than anyone precisely because you make mistakes too.
  • The contradiction of demanding work you cannot do Maybe you are weak in IT, but that does not let you halt a system rollout. You must still say, “We are doing this because it is necessary,” assign the work, and keep the whole moving. The guilt never vanishes.
  • The contradiction of emotional control You, too, are swayed by emotion, yet you demand calm, accurate reporting and judgment from your team.

You cannot eliminate contradictions. Your fate as a manager is to absorb them and still keep things moving.

Without This Skill, the Organization Stalls

At first glance, a manager who says, “I cannot do it myself, so I cannot ask my team to do it,” appears humble.

It might be admirable as an individual stance. But that mindset freezes the organization.

  • Discipline erodes until laxity becomes the norm.
  • New challenges live or die based on what the manager happens to be good at.
  • Subordinates assume that the manager’s limits define their own.

In other words, a manager who cannot put themselves on the shelf robs the entire organization of growth opportunities.

Crude “Shelf Placement” Destroys Leadership

There is a warning here: if you mistake this concept for a blank check, you will destroy performance and leadership in no time.

A manager who never makes an effort yet keeps issuing demands will lose trust from everyone. Their words lose weight. Instructions become empty forms. The era when you could simply threaten people into obedience is over; try that now and your career will end.

Putting yourself on the shelf to advance the organization is not the same as arrogance. The separator is pain.

Management means living with pain—pain from the contradictions you cannot erase, pain from demanding more of others than you can currently deliver yourself, pain that forces constant self-reflection and improvement. You keep moving the organization forward while feeling that pain.

The arrogant feel no pain. They inflict it only on others.

So the real aptitude is to put yourself on the shelf and still keep feeling the pain.

How This Differs from the Usual Checklists of Managerial Traits

Common lists of “traits managers need” include:

  • Communication skills: understanding subordinates and conveying messages well.
  • Decision-making ability: judging with limited information and time.
  • Fairness and integrity: treating people under consistent rules.
  • Problem-solving ability: handling conflicts and issues constructively.
  • Ability to share a vision: pointing the way and rallying others.

Reports such as Gallup’s State of the American Manager (2015) and the article “Why Great Managers Are So Rare” (2014), along with countless other studies and books, repeat these elements as if they were the whole story.

Reality is messier. If you actually were the ideal person those lists describe, life would be different…

  • Pursuing fairness to the extreme keeps you from enforcing discipline because you yourself are not perfect.
  • If you demand flawless decisions, you will freeze whenever you face areas outside your expertise.
  • Insisting on integrity alone becomes an excuse: “I cannot do it myself, so I cannot ask them.”

In short, checklists describe an idealized person. To survive real management, you also need the tolerance for cognitive dissonance—the ability to set aside your own contradictions and keep moving, painful as that is.

Conclusion: Move Forward Even If You Are Not Perfect

In addition to all the traits the world praises, management in practice requires “the ability to put yourself on the shelf.” Managers carry contradictions, demand more of their teams, and keep moving the organization forward while never forgetting the accompanying pain.

This is justified only when you continue to feel that pain instead of growing numb.

Accept that you are not perfect, yet keep the wheels turning—that is the aptitude that separates effective managers from the rest.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I ever stop my team from trying something because I am weak at it?
  • Am I aware of my own contradictions when I give guidance?
  • When I put myself on the shelf, do I redouble my efforts to learn and improve?

References